Tuesday 6 March 2012

What's this post all about? Oh yeh it's me..

“McDee. I don’t know how you get into these situations, its just not normal is it. You are the only variable here, it must be something to do with YOU” –Nan Bread.

Thankyou! I blooming thought it wasn’t normal.. having sex with your friend’s boyfriend while she watches and touches herself isn’t normal.. I have entered the twilight zone.. and I’m in deep.
So why do I like it?
It’s a taboo and I love it.

It’s perverse but I don’t sleep with people I like… at least not right away is that. Odd?
However, dear readers, not only am I ahead of myself but I am ahead of you… so lets start again at the beginning because I want to hold your hand and take you through this; baby yeh!

I blame my mother. How very telling and Freudian of me, don’t you think?
I blame her for my insanity. For thinking that its okay to; waltz around the kitchen alone or talk to myself.
We sing rather than speak to each other converse as though I was a clanger or similar;
     Moi: Gob fla rubba dub?
Ma Gill: Shru nu’gre lo top!!?

Sorry did I say blame? I meant LOVE.
I love that wonderfully daft and crazy woman who loves red wine when it tastes like blackcurrants and putting on comfy pants.

But she did teach me to be myself… which is a nutter…who loves to shock people.. to push their levels of comfort just a little bit.
 and am always surprised when people can do it in return. It’s nice and unnerving.

For my escapades, I carry no blame, they are all my own. And so odd that they seem worse than they are:
Sexual partners; 15 (3 of which girls)
Sexual encounters; 28
.. when you think about it.. that’s not a lot. I’ve never had a one night stand.
Never had a boyfriend… but everything else is free game.
Like a wallet dropped on the floor I shall look around before I stoop to pick it up and riffle through it.
Yet, riffle through it I will.


STOP DIGRESSING! That wasn’t the point of this post?!
The point wasn’t and isn’t that I went to a swingers club with two couples who are close friends of mine
The point isn’t that we had McDonalds afterwards.
The point isn’t that no one felt weird about it afterwards and laughed about it.
The point is these things happen… frequently.
And the variable is me.

I was in a bus crash today
so nur 

NEXT WEEK’S HYPOTHESIS
I will debate and try to refute the suggested hypothesis of Mr. Marley
If there is a direct correlation between ‘no woman’ directly resulting in ‘no cry’.

Based on what? I hear you ask;
If singleness is directly related to crying.
If unhappy relationships cause more of a negative affect than singledom.
If gay men are happier than straight men…



Today’s thought;
If you like scary films... don’t watch Paranormal activity 3. I search my wardrobe strategically and look under my bed every night (quite the task when you consider that my bed is a built in wooden frame.)
.. I digress.
My point being even I wasn’t scared
and I can’t sleep in a room that I know there is a doll in. or a clown. Or a murderer. You know that one night when you sleep with a murderer… well. Nuff’ said.

Today’s Riddle
There are coloured sweets in a bowl, on a table.
All but four of them are red.
All but four of them are yellow
And all but  four of them are blue

How many sweets are in the bowl?


Today, someone threw cheese at me as I got off the bus.
and I yelled after them 'YEH! thats REALLY MATURE!!'

Dah'lin reader, let me lick your face.

Sweet Dreams xox

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